WELCOME, TOGETHER WE CAN DO THIS!

My after picture!

My before picture, hampster cheeks any body?

Make sure you stop and smell the roses, or something just as pretty!

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

FREE CAKE!!

Those two simple little words have had me in quite the tail spin the last couple of days! Let me explain, I was at Starbucks on Sunday in the early evening to have a quiet coffee and a read of my new book, when the very nice young lady behind the counter asked if I wanted a free cake? Now this question poised to anybody but a compulsive over eater wouldn't be that much of a big deal, but for me it is. Because I know certain foods are off limits for me and I very carefully plan my day around my meals so as very little or no surprises come my way. So when I was asked this very simple yet daunting question my head began to spin and my palms began to sweat and my heart beat stepped up a notch, I know this doesn't happen to everyone who is offered free cake, but remember I am a food addict and she just offered me my biggest fix for FREE!

Of course the rational thing would have been to politely refuse and take my coffee and go on my merry way, but noooo once I was swept up in the heady excitement of consuming something I shouldn't I couldn't think straight, so I eyed the least damaging looking baked good behind the glass container and promised to give it some one else. It sat for a whole two seconds before I totally consumed it and was soon on the lookout for even more bad stuff! And just let me tell you the last couple of days have been very rocky I haven't been totally off kilter, but I also haven't been any where near my eating plan. When I spoke to one of my fellow OA member's she said that because I was presented with something I wasn't planning for, it totally threw me of balance. I guess I'm still not at the place where can just automatically turn down foods that I know will set me off.

I don't know how many times God has to remind me that I'm an addict, I mean I know that, but I just keep falling off the food wagon again and again and again, I know the road to recovery can be a bumpy one, but how many bloody times do I have to fall over crack my head open to get it? I was watching Intervention the other day and it was an episode on an alcoholic and the interventionist was explaining to him that once he has gone through recovery he wont touch a drop of alcohol because he will come to understand the consequences of taking that first drink. That really struck a cord with me and I know all too well the consequences of taking that first bite, but on several occasions I have still done it and not given a damn about the shattering after effects of my actions.

I mean when I look back over my last seven years of this journey I have done incredibly well, I have dropped 60lbs and a shit load of inches, gotten rid of my high blood pressure and increased risk of hear disease. I have a wonderful relationship with my family friends and my higher power. I am much more at peace with myself and the world, I laugh a lot more, have written a book, travelled and just basically love life. But all this can be shadowed by one bad binge and my binges now are so far and few between it's amazing, so I should look at the good instead of the bad, because the good by far outweigh the all the bad stuff.

By the grace of God today, so far, has been a wonderful abstinent day and I will keep reaching and praying for many more to come. Thanks for listening to me whine, maybe some of you are going through this and can relate, just remember you're never alone and keep striving for what makes you happy and never forget you're worth it!

Down the hatch:-

Breakfast: wholegrain cereal, flax seed, skim milk, water and coffee.

Lunch: tuna salad and wholegrain crackers, apple and water.

Snack: Clean protein bar, water and coffee.

Dinner: Roast chicken and tossed salad, water & cup tea.

Activity: none, back on track with that tomorrow too!

Saturday, March 27, 2010

wooo hooo another 3lbs down!!!!!

Yes, I was a happy little camper when I stepped on the scale and realized that I am down another 3lbs! Bloody brilliant! It was probably over a period of two weeks, so that's pretty darn good considering how close I am to my goal, only a meager 4lbs to go! I am so happy with the results, you know how hard it is to keep on track and keep going and sometimes you just wanna throw in the towel and say hand me that triple chocolate cake pretty please! I think what is making it a little more bearable for me is that I realize this is it for the rest of my life. I have chosen this food plan which I really enjoy, but I do still allow myself the occasional treat. But, it's not the same for everyone, you really have to figure out what works for you, I have to tread very carefully around my treat days.

There are certain foods that I cant have, I have one mouthful and I want a hundred more, so my treat foods aren't my binge foods. If you're a binge eater you have to figure out what your trigger foods are, basically you cant stop until you've consumed a whole bunch of whatever it is that cranks your chain! Also, a lot of my binge's are brought on by my mood, so I monitor how I am feeling if I have a sudden craving rear it's ugly head, I check in with myself and see whats going on. Because if I eat over something that's upsetting me, or depressing me I will literally eat anything and everything, I just want to stuff down whatever feelings I am having and not want to face them.

But, I learnt over the years that dealing with a situation like that is very demoralizing, because now you have the same problem hovering over you and now you also hate yourself for downing a massive amount of food. So, now you basically have two problems, the original one and the feelings of self loathing from giving into your habit. For me, this was the worst feeling, I would beat myself up something chronic, it is just so self-defeating, yet so easy to do. It is adsacly the same as when an alcoholic has that first drink after many years of abstinence, or the drug addict takes that first hit, food is my drug and I have to treat it as seriously as any other kind of substance.

But, anyhow folks, back to the happy news, yay 3lbs down! What a lovely day it was in Calgary, did you manage to get out and enjoy it? I hope so, it was a glorious sunny day, I actually met my sponsor today for coffee and we had a good old chat and catch up. And tonight my friend and I are going to see "Sherlock Holmes" with our imaginary boyfriend Robert Downey Junior, he is quite the tasty morsel!

Down the hatch:-

Breakfast: 3/4 cup wholegrain cereal, 1/2 cup strawberries, skim milk, 1tbs flax-seed, 1tbs bee-pollen, water & cup coffee.

Lunch: wholegrain bagel with low fat cream cheese, water.

Snack: slice low fat banana cake, water & cup coffee.

Dinner: Roast chicken, salad, water.

Snack: sml bag popcorn (no butter) at the theater.

Activity: 1 hour kick-boxing class.

So you folks have a bloody great weekend, remember you're worth it!

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Misering and Mini Eggs!

I have been reminiscing lately about when I was my own boss and owned my own business, yes it was a lot of blood sweat and tears, but you know what I went to bed at night knowing that all that energy, effort and hard work went back in my pocket, not someone else's. If you've ever been the entrepreneurial type you understand this and if you've always wanted to be your own boss your probably wondering what is standing in your way? To really understand how the wealthy and successful think you have to study them and I know it's real hard to look at Donald Trumps ugly mug and just want to despise him! But you have to say to yourself what does he have that I'm lacking to require the missing wealth in my life (apart from really bad hair!)?

I have taken a lot of courses and seminar's on this subject and there are several factors that millionaire minds have that most people don't and that is lack of fear and their thought process. Luckily I do have both of those wonderful gifts but have somehow lost my way on the path to success and it began the day I went to work for somebody else, coincidence? I think not! This has really been bothering me lately! It really came to light when I got talking about all the stuff this young dude that I've been seeing has accomplished on his short time on this earth and I told him how much I admired him for his drive and his courage (and his flat abs, ha ha) to take the path less traveled, he is a true success!

But, why is it that you rarely come across the real successful folk? I mean most of us are busting our butts daily, rarely see our loved ones and are struggling from pay cheque to pay cheque. It really is frustrating and disturbing and if you're there too I'm sure you're feeling it. I'm really going to put maximum effort into being my own success story and I shall keep you folks informed! Thanks for listening to me rant :)

Okay, to the food, today was very good apart from a very small bag of mini eggs that found it's way to my pie hole, but It was an absolute necessity as it's that time of the month were it was either kill somebody or have some chocolate, I chose the less messier latter option!

Down the hatch:-

Breakfast: 1/2 cup granola, 1/2 cup strawberries, 1/2 cup non fat natural yogurt, water & cup coffee.

Lunch: stone ground roll with sliced cucumber and humus, water.

Snack: Clean protein bar, water & cup coffee.

Dinner: vegetarian Chili, water & cup tea.

Snack: sml bag mini eggs (yuuummm...not the best choice I know, but a much a better option than being in jail for murder!)

Activity: 90 minute walk.

So, I'm off to meditate have a good day tomorrow y'all.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

A wee bit tied up!

I know that sounds kinky right? But I must apologise my attention has been otherwise diverted the last couple of days......all I shall say is that he has big brown eyes, face as cute as a button, a great personality, intelligent, a ton of fun to hang out with and oh yeah he's is almost ten years younger than me so I guess I am officially a member of the Calgary Cougar Club!!!! But that's all I shall say for now on that subject!

Soo how has my eating plan been, still good, I've back at the gym and getting outside to enjoy the glorious weather, minus today though brrrrrrr. I went to my Overeater's Anonymous group last night and it was so nice to connect with like minded people and have such an incredible support system around me. The environment you live in and the people you surround yourself with is so important when your wanting to make a lifestyle change headed to the healthier side of life.

I really like the analogy of the twelve step belief and that is, for your life to be in perfect balance you have to have an equal amount of Spiritual, Physical and Emotional well being, because when you have all these three things in order you are living life the way you are supposed to. Have you ever experienced harmony in all three areas? If you have you know what I'm talking about. I first experienced this five or six years ago and it's incredible you feel like you're constantly walking on a cloud of happiness, you have a spring in your step, peace in your heart and your life is bloody fantastic!

But, why do we find it so hard to find that perfect balance? One or two things always seem to take over, like your job, your spouse, your kids! Or all three and then you're totally out of wack! I must say since I have started meditating I have felt a lot more balanced, as my life just recently went totally off kilter! But I have been putting the effort in to get back to that lovely peaceful place I once resided in and you know what I think I'm pretty darn close to it again.

I think the main reason people get off kilter with the magic three (that's what I like to call them) is the absolute inability to put themselves first, why do we feel such guilt when we put ourselves first? I love the saying that Oprah has and it's "if Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!" and that is so true because if you have constantly put yourself last and having nothing to give, how on earth can you give anything good to anybody else? So if this sounds like you, really start taking the time to put time in yourself and make a list of all the things you want and all the things that make you happy. And everyday or every week or once every month take one thing from that list and bloody well do it!!!!

Down the hatch:-

Breakfast: Low fat Banana nut muffin, water and coffee.

Lunch: wholegrain bagel & light cream cheese, water and coffee.

Snack: Clean protein bar, water.

Dinner: Lean ground beef stew, water and cup tea.

Snack: hand full of unsalted nuts and dry fruit.

Activity: 35 mins Elliptical trainer, 1hour circuit training class.

Okay so please believe that you are worth spending time on, believe me it will make your life so much fuller, happier and peaceful. Take care you lot.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

A lot of skin and not a lot of clothes!

Well I must say last night was a fun, yet disturbing experience! I thought I would be the oldest person there but as it happens I wasn't, I didn't really feel comfortable but I also didn't feel completely out of sorts. So, I just enjoyed the experience for what it was, a night of fun out with a really good friend and dancing off a few pounds (oh boy it was hot in there!) I must say I wasn't sure what the dress code is these days, but from what I observed it was a combination of what little clothes you could legally get away with and not actually be naked! Hey, I'm no prude, I'm British we look for any opportunity to go topless, but I tell you if I went out dressed like the young Chickie's from last night my Mum would of kicked my ass!

So, as enjoyable as the night was my friend and I decided it wouldn't become a weekly event, but once in a while to cut lose and play with the younger folk it wouldn't be totally off limits. Getting back to my present situation with my weight loss and food plan.

When I was sick I didn't lose any weight but I also didn't gain any, which is great! So, I'm still ten pounds down and 9 inches lost which is wonderful. So I shall just weigh myself and measure in a month's time or sooner, as I should be at my goal by then, I only have 5-6 pounds to go and am really close, woo hoo!

Today I took advantage of our gorgeous weather and went for a nice long walk, I hear that four letter word beginning with S is heading our way, so I'm making the most of this glorious weather.

Down the hatch:-

Breakfast: 1/2 cup granola, 1/2 cup strawberries, 1/2 cup non fat natural yogurt, 1tbs flax seed, 1 tbs bee-pollen, water & coffee.

Lunch: Spinach & feta cheese salad, water.

Snack: slice low fat banana cake, water & coffee.

Dinner: Grilled chicken salad, water.

Snack: 1 orange and hand full of unsalted nuts, water.

Activity: 1 Hour walk.

So, I'm off to meditate have a good Monday y'all.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Cougar sighting in town!

It's the second day of feeling not so near to deathly ill, although I still feel something lingering and I'm trying my hardest to ignore it! What a lovely day we had today in Calgary it was almost like Spring! But I have learnt since being in the city that you embrace the warm sunny days get your ass up off the coach and get out there, because the next day could be a bloody blizzard! I sat outside (yes outside) Starbucks and languished in the mild weather and the occasional glimpse of sunshine, it really is the small things in life that bring you joy. I am happy a clam with a good book and a latte in my hand, yes I am also a cheap date a very cheap date! Although I do make up for it in the clothes shopping department I love my trips to those massive super discounted outlet stores across the border, mmmm shopping :)

So, tonight my friend and I are going to a night club, I haven't been to a nightclub in eons and I'm really just going to dance (no drinking I offered my car and services as the designated driver) I love to dance and it burns a ton of calories and I shall try my hardest not to feel like I'm attending a Kindergarten party as that was my last experience entering a night club. But I am stepping outside the box (or rather children's sand box!) and dolling myself in my finest (what are the young kids wearing these days I heard leggings were making a come back. Yikes! Scary eighties flashback!!!) I shall fill y'all in on my escapades tomorrow, hopefully I wont feel like someones Mother or worse, Grandmother!

Today I felt a lot more of my old energy come back as I was kicking butt in my kick-boxing class this morning, I know I've said it a thousand times, but I freaking love that class! And the two teachers that lead it are incredible and funny at the same time, you've got to make it fun or else you wont keep it up. So even though I'm going out tonight today will still be a eat clean day for me, in fact I'm munching on a bowl of freshly cut strawberries and blueberries this very minute, Yummy!

Down the hatch: -

Breakfast: 3/4 cup wholegrain cereal, 1/4 cup blueberries, 1tbs flax seed, 1 tbs bee-pollen, skim milk, water.

Lunch: Tossed salad with feta cheese, water & cup coffee.

Snack: bowl chopped strawberries, blueberries, handful of unsalted nuts, water.

Dinner: Grilled chicken salad (hey it feels like Spring outside, bring on the salads!) water & cup coffee.

Snack: Clean protein bar & couple of diet Pepsi's in the club!

I am planning what I'm going to eat after my snack, I will have my dinner before I go and bring my protein bar with me and down a couple of diet Pepsi's and hopefully dance my butt off! A lot of success in any kind of eating plan has a lot to do with preparation, if you have your good clean meals with you you're less likely to stray and you save a hell of a lotta money too.

So, I hope you all have a fantastic Saturday night as this Cougar is off to see what's on offer, I promise to be gentle with my prey!

Friday, March 19, 2010

I'm baaaack :()

Hello peep's I am finally back from my loooong hiatus away, I haven't been lying on a beach somewhere soaking up the sun (I wish) I was struck down by one hell of a nasty cold. I think I am finally coming out of it. I was sick for over a week which is very rare for me, I am blessed with a very healthy immune system, but boy did it take a knocking this past week! So I was feeling very sorry for myself and used that woe is me attitude, which is never attractive. Food wise I kind of just picked up what I had the energy to pick up, cooking was out of the equation, also In the depths of my pity party I chose things that are not on my eating plan, but now I am on the mend I am back on track, big time!

I summoned the energy to go to the gym tonight, because when I was down I listened to my body and just rested, it's very important when your sick because your body is using all it's energy fighting off your bug, so if you work out you really end up overtaxing your system and extending your time in your sick bed.

Down the hatch:-

Breakfast: low fat oatmeal muffin, water & coffee.

Lunch: wholegrain wrap, sliced boiled egg, watercress, fresh spinach, 1/2 cup fresh strawberries and blueberries, water.

Snack: Clean protein bar, water & cup coffee.

Dinner: Vegetarian curry, water.

Snack: hand full of unsalted nuts and dry fruit, water & cup tea.

Activity: 1 hour circuit training class & 40 mins on Elliptical.

I am so glad to be back on the plan again, I missed eating healthy and feeling great, I'll keep it brief and yak more at y'all tomorrow. I hope you're all doing great.