Help! My brain needs fixing!!

It has been a long hiatus for me! But I am back now I have been going through a wrongful dismissal case with my previous Employers and have been totally consumed by that. I started to binge eat over this fact and decided to seek out professional counseling from an eating disorder specialist. I have only been going for three weeks but feel bloody amazing! Therapy is an amazing tool, I don't know why I didn't seek out professional help for my eating disorder. I have a wonderful support system in Overeaters Anonymous but felt as if I needed more one on one guidance and it is working wonders. Since Ive been seeing my therapist I haven't binged once and its been close to three weeks, I feel so proud of myself and that's a really difficult thing for me to say.

I have also started reading a fantastic book titled "Change your brain, change your body" by Dr Amen, I haven't been able to put it down. It is absolutely amazing how binge eating affects our brain and how harder it becomes each time to stop because it is so ingrained into the old grey matter! Actually through this book I have discovered that I am an Emotional Overeater and impulsive overeater! Yup two for the price of one, what a joy! I have the frontal lobe of the brain that deals with impulse control (hello is that cake calling my name!) Did you know that cake has the same effect as cocaine on the brain! Scary huh! Also if you have focus and judgement problems. Well, hey that sounds just like me, also any deep set memories of that first gooey yummy cookie or cake when you were kid is so deep set into your pleasure receptors, that is why it becomes almost impossible to put down that triple chocolate cake. But, there is hope!

With his book it details how to reverse the damage to your brain, and it is damaged! Especially if you have experimented in hardcore drugs, but he has the reversed the effects of a severely damaged brain and just following his suggestions and steps we can have the life and the body and the healthy brain we all dreamt of. I always just thought about the body I wanted but never the brain I've always wanted! If my brain is sick I will continue to have the same results, which for me is yo yoing with my weight and binge eating. If I heal my brain the binge eating will eventually lessen and even go away all together but I have to train my brain to act and react differently around food and situations that involve food. I did touch on that subject in my book but never realized the entire ramifications of the power from your dodgy grey matter, relating to your expanding waistline!

I have started practicing suggestions in this book and am having great results, that in conjunction with the therapy is a wonderful combination, in fact that is one of the suggestions for my type of brain problem and go figure it's helping. But what I seem to gather from this book is that it takes a lot of work, it is not easy to fill in the gaps in your brain and there are some major gaps the pictures prove it! So, I know that I have a lot of work ahead of me, but I think I'm willing to finally give this thing a go once and for all. What this explains to me is why I failed so many times before and I know it's not my weak will power it's deep set behaviours that are so difficult to break. I didn't know how to break them before, but now I have the knowledge and knowledge is power my friends.

If you have any kind of eating disorder I strongly suggest you give this book a look over, it's life changing and also seek out some form of professional therapy. There are some amazing counsellor's out there :)

Long time no chit-chat

You guys probably thought I had left the Country or fell off the wagon big time, or ran off and joined a circus! Wrong on all counts I have actually been getting my poor sick computer better and still doing the same old same old! I wont be blogging about my food plan anymore I'm pretty sure you guys have the whole eat clean thing down pat. But, I will still be writing down my thoughts, whats going on in my little world and so and so on.

I have finally made the decision to seek out counseling for my food addiction, I am guilty of not seeking professional help for my food problem and I think it can only help. Because recovery is a nice balance of mental, physical and spiritual recovery, I'm pretty good with the last two, but because my problem with food is all in my head, which eventually finds it way to my thighs! I don't think I'm doing all I can to keep my recovery on a nice even keel, which would be really nice, rather than the emotional roller coaster that can sometimes be my life.

So, I will be very happy to share with you guys whatever enlightenment is thrown my way as means to a happier, healthier, saner life. I wish you all the best and hope all is good in your world.

Cougars in Canmore!

Yes you guessed it! A good friend of mine and I went to Canmore the other day and had a great time, I love that little town, sometimes more so than Banff because it's not as touristy. I had to really curb my spending as I'm not independently wealthy yet, but I'm working on it! I'm just staying in town this Easter long weekend, even when I was working I didn't like to go out of town because there is an influx of even more crazy people on the road than normal and that's bloody scary!

It's been a couple of days since my last blog which was a bit of a downer, but I have been good since, I've had a few shaky days, but more mental than anything else. I am feeling much more positive about my abstinence and am happy to be back on track. I hope you all have a great Easter weekend what ever you're doing and try not to eat too many of those yummy chocolaty things, or if you do, just work them off later somehow!

Down the hatch:-

Breakfast: 3/4 cup wholegrain cereal, 1/2 cup strawberries, 1tbs flax seed, water & cup coffee.

Lunch: wholegrain wrap with humus and fresh spinach, water.

Snack: Clean protein bar, water & cup coffee.

Dinner: Extra Lean steak, mushrooms, broccoli & salad, water & cup tea.

Activity: 50 min run (outside woohoo) 100 walking lunges.

FREE CAKE!!

Those two simple little words have had me in quite the tail spin the last couple of days! Let me explain, I was at Starbucks on Sunday in the early evening to have a quiet coffee and a read of my new book, when the very nice young lady behind the counter asked if I wanted a free cake? Now this question poised to anybody but a compulsive over eater wouldn't be that much of a big deal, but for me it is. Because I know certain foods are off limits for me and I very carefully plan my day around my meals so as very little or no surprises come my way. So when I was asked this very simple yet daunting question my head began to spin and my palms began to sweat and my heart beat stepped up a notch, I know this doesn't happen to everyone who is offered free cake, but remember I am a food addict and she just offered me my biggest fix for FREE!

Of course the rational thing would have been to politely refuse and take my coffee and go on my merry way, but noooo once I was swept up in the heady excitement of consuming something I shouldn't I couldn't think straight, so I eyed the least damaging looking baked good behind the glass container and promised to give it some one else. It sat for a whole two seconds before I totally consumed it and was soon on the lookout for even more bad stuff! And just let me tell you the last couple of days have been very rocky I haven't been totally off kilter, but I also haven't been any where near my eating plan. When I spoke to one of my fellow OA member's she said that because I was presented with something I wasn't planning for, it totally threw me of balance. I guess I'm still not at the place where can just automatically turn down foods that I know will set me off.

I don't know how many times God has to remind me that I'm an addict, I mean I know that, but I just keep falling off the food wagon again and again and again, I know the road to recovery can be a bumpy one, but how many bloody times do I have to fall over crack my head open to get it? I was watching Intervention the other day and it was an episode on an alcoholic and the interventionist was explaining to him that once he has gone through recovery he wont touch a drop of alcohol because he will come to understand the consequences of taking that first drink. That really struck a cord with me and I know all too well the consequences of taking that first bite, but on several occasions I have still done it and not given a damn about the shattering after effects of my actions.

I mean when I look back over my last seven years of this journey I have done incredibly well, I have dropped 60lbs and a shit load of inches, gotten rid of my high blood pressure and increased risk of hear disease. I have a wonderful relationship with my family friends and my higher power. I am much more at peace with myself and the world, I laugh a lot more, have written a book, travelled and just basically love life. But all this can be shadowed by one bad binge and my binges now are so far and few between it's amazing, so I should look at the good instead of the bad, because the good by far outweigh the all the bad stuff.

By the grace of God today, so far, has been a wonderful abstinent day and I will keep reaching and praying for many more to come. Thanks for listening to me whine, maybe some of you are going through this and can relate, just remember you're never alone and keep striving for what makes you happy and never forget you're worth it!

Down the hatch:-

Breakfast: wholegrain cereal, flax seed, skim milk, water and coffee.

Lunch: tuna salad and wholegrain crackers, apple and water.

Snack: Clean protein bar, water and coffee.

Dinner: Roast chicken and tossed salad, water & cup tea.

Activity: none, back on track with that tomorrow too!

wooo hooo another 3lbs down!!!!!

Yes, I was a happy little camper when I stepped on the scale and realized that I am down another 3lbs! Bloody brilliant! It was probably over a period of two weeks, so that's pretty darn good considering how close I am to my goal, only a meager 4lbs to go! I am so happy with the results, you know how hard it is to keep on track and keep going and sometimes you just wanna throw in the towel and say hand me that triple chocolate cake pretty please! I think what is making it a little more bearable for me is that I realize this is it for the rest of my life. I have chosen this food plan which I really enjoy, but I do still allow myself the occasional treat. But, it's not the same for everyone, you really have to figure out what works for you, I have to tread very carefully around my treat days.

There are certain foods that I cant have, I have one mouthful and I want a hundred more, so my treat foods aren't my binge foods. If you're a binge eater you have to figure out what your trigger foods are, basically you cant stop until you've consumed a whole bunch of whatever it is that cranks your chain! Also, a lot of my binge's are brought on by my mood, so I monitor how I am feeling if I have a sudden craving rear it's ugly head, I check in with myself and see whats going on. Because if I eat over something that's upsetting me, or depressing me I will literally eat anything and everything, I just want to stuff down whatever feelings I am having and not want to face them.

But, I learnt over the years that dealing with a situation like that is very demoralizing, because now you have the same problem hovering over you and now you also hate yourself for downing a massive amount of food. So, now you basically have two problems, the original one and the feelings of self loathing from giving into your habit. For me, this was the worst feeling, I would beat myself up something chronic, it is just so self-defeating, yet so easy to do. It is adsacly the same as when an alcoholic has that first drink after many years of abstinence, or the drug addict takes that first hit, food is my drug and I have to treat it as seriously as any other kind of substance.

But, anyhow folks, back to the happy news, yay 3lbs down! What a lovely day it was in Calgary, did you manage to get out and enjoy it? I hope so, it was a glorious sunny day, I actually met my sponsor today for coffee and we had a good old chat and catch up. And tonight my friend and I are going to see "Sherlock Holmes" with our imaginary boyfriend Robert Downey Junior, he is quite the tasty morsel!

Down the hatch:-

Breakfast: 3/4 cup wholegrain cereal, 1/2 cup strawberries, skim milk, 1tbs flax-seed, 1tbs bee-pollen, water & cup coffee.

Lunch: wholegrain bagel with low fat cream cheese, water.

Snack: slice low fat banana cake, water & cup coffee.

Dinner: Roast chicken, salad, water.

Snack: sml bag popcorn (no butter) at the theater.

Activity: 1 hour kick-boxing class.

So you folks have a bloody great weekend, remember you're worth it!

Misering and Mini Eggs!

I have been reminiscing lately about when I was my own boss and owned my own business, yes it was a lot of blood sweat and tears, but you know what I went to bed at night knowing that all that energy, effort and hard work went back in my pocket, not someone else's. If you've ever been the entrepreneurial type you understand this and if you've always wanted to be your own boss your probably wondering what is standing in your way? To really understand how the wealthy and successful think you have to study them and I know it's real hard to look at Donald Trumps ugly mug and just want to despise him! But you have to say to yourself what does he have that I'm lacking to require the missing wealth in my life (apart from really bad hair!)?

I have taken a lot of courses and seminar's on this subject and there are several factors that millionaire minds have that most people don't and that is lack of fear and their thought process. Luckily I do have both of those wonderful gifts but have somehow lost my way on the path to success and it began the day I went to work for somebody else, coincidence? I think not! This has really been bothering me lately! It really came to light when I got talking about all the stuff this young dude that I've been seeing has accomplished on his short time on this earth and I told him how much I admired him for his drive and his courage (and his flat abs, ha ha) to take the path less traveled, he is a true success!

But, why is it that you rarely come across the real successful folk? I mean most of us are busting our butts daily, rarely see our loved ones and are struggling from pay cheque to pay cheque. It really is frustrating and disturbing and if you're there too I'm sure you're feeling it. I'm really going to put maximum effort into being my own success story and I shall keep you folks informed! Thanks for listening to me rant :)

Okay, to the food, today was very good apart from a very small bag of mini eggs that found it's way to my pie hole, but It was an absolute necessity as it's that time of the month were it was either kill somebody or have some chocolate, I chose the less messier latter option!

Down the hatch:-

Breakfast: 1/2 cup granola, 1/2 cup strawberries, 1/2 cup non fat natural yogurt, water & cup coffee.

Lunch: stone ground roll with sliced cucumber and humus, water.

Snack: Clean protein bar, water & cup coffee.

Dinner: vegetarian Chili, water & cup tea.

Snack: sml bag mini eggs (yuuummm...not the best choice I know, but a much a better option than being in jail for murder!)

Activity: 90 minute walk.

So, I'm off to meditate have a good day tomorrow y'all.

A wee bit tied up!

I know that sounds kinky right? But I must apologise my attention has been otherwise diverted the last couple of days......all I shall say is that he has big brown eyes, face as cute as a button, a great personality, intelligent, a ton of fun to hang out with and oh yeah he's is almost ten years younger than me so I guess I am officially a member of the Calgary Cougar Club!!!! But that's all I shall say for now on that subject!

Soo how has my eating plan been, still good, I've back at the gym and getting outside to enjoy the glorious weather, minus today though brrrrrrr. I went to my Overeater's Anonymous group last night and it was so nice to connect with like minded people and have such an incredible support system around me. The environment you live in and the people you surround yourself with is so important when your wanting to make a lifestyle change headed to the healthier side of life.

I really like the analogy of the twelve step belief and that is, for your life to be in perfect balance you have to have an equal amount of Spiritual, Physical and Emotional well being, because when you have all these three things in order you are living life the way you are supposed to. Have you ever experienced harmony in all three areas? If you have you know what I'm talking about. I first experienced this five or six years ago and it's incredible you feel like you're constantly walking on a cloud of happiness, you have a spring in your step, peace in your heart and your life is bloody fantastic!

But, why do we find it so hard to find that perfect balance? One or two things always seem to take over, like your job, your spouse, your kids! Or all three and then you're totally out of wack! I must say since I have started meditating I have felt a lot more balanced, as my life just recently went totally off kilter! But I have been putting the effort in to get back to that lovely peaceful place I once resided in and you know what I think I'm pretty darn close to it again.

I think the main reason people get off kilter with the magic three (that's what I like to call them) is the absolute inability to put themselves first, why do we feel such guilt when we put ourselves first? I love the saying that Oprah has and it's "if Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!" and that is so true because if you have constantly put yourself last and having nothing to give, how on earth can you give anything good to anybody else? So if this sounds like you, really start taking the time to put time in yourself and make a list of all the things you want and all the things that make you happy. And everyday or every week or once every month take one thing from that list and bloody well do it!!!!

Down the hatch:-

Breakfast: Low fat Banana nut muffin, water and coffee.

Lunch: wholegrain bagel & light cream cheese, water and coffee.

Snack: Clean protein bar, water.

Dinner: Lean ground beef stew, water and cup tea.

Snack: hand full of unsalted nuts and dry fruit.

Activity: 35 mins Elliptical trainer, 1hour circuit training class.

Okay so please believe that you are worth spending time on, believe me it will make your life so much fuller, happier and peaceful. Take care you lot.

A lot of skin and not a lot of clothes!

Well I must say last night was a fun, yet disturbing experience! I thought I would be the oldest person there but as it happens I wasn't, I didn't really feel comfortable but I also didn't feel completely out of sorts. So, I just enjoyed the experience for what it was, a night of fun out with a really good friend and dancing off a few pounds (oh boy it was hot in there!) I must say I wasn't sure what the dress code is these days, but from what I observed it was a combination of what little clothes you could legally get away with and not actually be naked! Hey, I'm no prude, I'm British we look for any opportunity to go topless, but I tell you if I went out dressed like the young Chickie's from last night my Mum would of kicked my ass!

So, as enjoyable as the night was my friend and I decided it wouldn't become a weekly event, but once in a while to cut lose and play with the younger folk it wouldn't be totally off limits. Getting back to my present situation with my weight loss and food plan.

When I was sick I didn't lose any weight but I also didn't gain any, which is great! So, I'm still ten pounds down and 9 inches lost which is wonderful. So I shall just weigh myself and measure in a month's time or sooner, as I should be at my goal by then, I only have 5-6 pounds to go and am really close, woo hoo!

Today I took advantage of our gorgeous weather and went for a nice long walk, I hear that four letter word beginning with S is heading our way, so I'm making the most of this glorious weather.

Down the hatch:-

Breakfast: 1/2 cup granola, 1/2 cup strawberries, 1/2 cup non fat natural yogurt, 1tbs flax seed, 1 tbs bee-pollen, water & coffee.

Lunch: Spinach & feta cheese salad, water.

Snack: slice low fat banana cake, water & coffee.

Dinner: Grilled chicken salad, water.

Snack: 1 orange and hand full of unsalted nuts, water.

Activity: 1 Hour walk.

So, I'm off to meditate have a good Monday y'all.

Cougar sighting in town!

It's the second day of feeling not so near to deathly ill, although I still feel something lingering and I'm trying my hardest to ignore it! What a lovely day we had today in Calgary it was almost like Spring! But I have learnt since being in the city that you embrace the warm sunny days get your ass up off the coach and get out there, because the next day could be a bloody blizzard! I sat outside (yes outside) Starbucks and languished in the mild weather and the occasional glimpse of sunshine, it really is the small things in life that bring you joy. I am happy a clam with a good book and a latte in my hand, yes I am also a cheap date a very cheap date! Although I do make up for it in the clothes shopping department I love my trips to those massive super discounted outlet stores across the border, mmmm shopping :)

So, tonight my friend and I are going to a night club, I haven't been to a nightclub in eons and I'm really just going to dance (no drinking I offered my car and services as the designated driver) I love to dance and it burns a ton of calories and I shall try my hardest not to feel like I'm attending a Kindergarten party as that was my last experience entering a night club. But I am stepping outside the box (or rather children's sand box!) and dolling myself in my finest (what are the young kids wearing these days I heard leggings were making a come back. Yikes! Scary eighties flashback!!!) I shall fill y'all in on my escapades tomorrow, hopefully I wont feel like someones Mother or worse, Grandmother!

Today I felt a lot more of my old energy come back as I was kicking butt in my kick-boxing class this morning, I know I've said it a thousand times, but I freaking love that class! And the two teachers that lead it are incredible and funny at the same time, you've got to make it fun or else you wont keep it up. So even though I'm going out tonight today will still be a eat clean day for me, in fact I'm munching on a bowl of freshly cut strawberries and blueberries this very minute, Yummy!

Down the hatch: -

Breakfast: 3/4 cup wholegrain cereal, 1/4 cup blueberries, 1tbs flax seed, 1 tbs bee-pollen, skim milk, water.

Lunch: Tossed salad with feta cheese, water & cup coffee.

Snack: bowl chopped strawberries, blueberries, handful of unsalted nuts, water.

Dinner: Grilled chicken salad (hey it feels like Spring outside, bring on the salads!) water & cup coffee.

Snack: Clean protein bar & couple of diet Pepsi's in the club!

I am planning what I'm going to eat after my snack, I will have my dinner before I go and bring my protein bar with me and down a couple of diet Pepsi's and hopefully dance my butt off! A lot of success in any kind of eating plan has a lot to do with preparation, if you have your good clean meals with you you're less likely to stray and you save a hell of a lotta money too.

So, I hope you all have a fantastic Saturday night as this Cougar is off to see what's on offer, I promise to be gentle with my prey!

I'm baaaack :()

Hello peep's I am finally back from my loooong hiatus away, I haven't been lying on a beach somewhere soaking up the sun (I wish) I was struck down by one hell of a nasty cold. I think I am finally coming out of it. I was sick for over a week which is very rare for me, I am blessed with a very healthy immune system, but boy did it take a knocking this past week! So I was feeling very sorry for myself and used that woe is me attitude, which is never attractive. Food wise I kind of just picked up what I had the energy to pick up, cooking was out of the equation, also In the depths of my pity party I chose things that are not on my eating plan, but now I am on the mend I am back on track, big time!

I summoned the energy to go to the gym tonight, because when I was down I listened to my body and just rested, it's very important when your sick because your body is using all it's energy fighting off your bug, so if you work out you really end up overtaxing your system and extending your time in your sick bed.

Down the hatch:-

Breakfast: low fat oatmeal muffin, water & coffee.

Lunch: wholegrain wrap, sliced boiled egg, watercress, fresh spinach, 1/2 cup fresh strawberries and blueberries, water.

Snack: Clean protein bar, water & cup coffee.

Dinner: Vegetarian curry, water.

Snack: hand full of unsalted nuts and dry fruit, water & cup tea.

Activity: 1 hour circuit training class & 40 mins on Elliptical.

I am so glad to be back on the plan again, I missed eating healthy and feeling great, I'll keep it brief and yak more at y'all tomorrow. I hope you're all doing great.

Under the weather :(

Unfortunately I have contracted what all the other sick people had around me! I didn't blog yesterday because I felt so lousy, today is just a different degree of lousy, but I'm keeping a positive outlook on the whole thing. Today I even went for a walk, had to lie down when I got home, but at least I went for a walk! I somehow summoned up the energy to cook myself some organic chicken noodle soup and it didn't taste too hideous, although I think my taste buds are compromised right now! If you want to give it a go, buy some organic chicken broth, cook up some chicken, garlic, mushrooms, spinach (i just threw in what i had in the fridge) boil some ancient grain noodles and chuck together into the broth.

So I'll keep it brief as my head is starting to pound again and I'm anticipating my date with the intoxicating but medicating effects of my latest best friend Nyquil!

Down the hatch:-

Breakfast: 1/2 cup granola, 1/2 cup strawberries, 1/2 cup no fat natural yogurt, 1tbs flax seed, 1 tbs bee-pollen, water & cup coffee.

Snack: 1 apple & hand full of unsalted nuts, water.

Lunch: wholegrain wrap with sliced boiled egg, spinach & watercress, water & coffee.

Snack: 2 brown rice cakes, 2 tbs nut butter, water.

Dinner: Home made organic chicken noddle soup (yummy!), water & cup tea.

Activity: walk.

I see sick people

I'm feeling a little under the weather, my tonsils are swollen and my throat is sore, which I get every once in a while if surrounded by sick folk and there have been a lot of them lately. But I managed to drag myself to my hot yoga class and they had the heat seriously cranked (which I love) so people were dropping like flies around me and I'm just finding it perfect, so the teacher checks the temperature and it was close to 45 degrees! But the weird thing is I found it just great I was sweating buckets, but isn't that the purpose? But I guess the passing out wasn't so good for other folk, so the teacher turned it down to a nice 30 degrees totally livable temperature.

I felt a lot better after the class, but as soon as I got home I started feeling shitty again, but I'm downing extra Vitamin C and going to bed early, hoping for a full recovery, so Ill keep it short and wish you adieu till tomorrow.

Down the hatch:-

Breakfast: Oatmeal & raisin muffin, water & cup coffee.

Lunch: Organic burger with salad, diet pepsi.

Snack: Clean protein bar, water and coffee.

Dinner: Grilled chicken salad, water & cup coffee.

Activity: 75 mins of super hot yoga!

Food and Taxes!

I got a hold of my tax lady today and took all my piles of stuff to her, I thought my refund was going to be a bit on the fatter side, but as it turns out it looks like it's going to lean toward the slimmer side of the all mighty dollar. So I called up a friend to convey my woes over the phone and she informed me that she was in a very bad way financially from something that happened years ago and she very graciously informed me that even receiving a refund was a lucky thing for me. So, God does work in mysterious ways, because as soon as I spoke to my friend my mood did a complete 360 and I felt not so hard done by!

It's amazing how easy I can lose sight of how lucky I am, I might not be tripping over mounds of cash, but I have a roof over my head, a wonderful family, fantastic friends, good health and many, many skills that I can put to good use. I guess sometimes I just need a little reminder once in a while, luckily my higher power didn't allow me to wallow too much in my self pity!

Down the hatch:-

Breakfast: 1/2 cup granola, 1/2 cup strawberries, 1/2 no fat natural yogurt, 1 tbs flax seed, 1tbs bee-pollen, water and cup coffee.

Lunch: Veggie burger on wholegrain bun, lettuce, pickles, mustard (very yummy) water.

Snack: Clean protein bar, water & cup coffee.

Dinner: Chili & wholewheat roll, water & cup coffee.

Activity: 1 hour weights circuit training class.

Tonight I went to my Overeaters Anonymous meeting, which keeps me in check with my addictive relationship with food and I just love the people that have become good friends over the years. It's so freeing to be able to talk about your behaviour as a compulsive over eater and have every single person in the room understand what your going through and not judge you. So I wish you all luck with what ever food or tax woes you are going through :)

What's that white stuff?!!!

I didn't blog yesterday because I had a very fun, impromptu girlie's day and night out (well there where two fellas with us in the night time segment). Because it's been so lovely we took advantage of the balmy weather and went for a nice long walk at Fishcreek park, it was great, I wish this weather was here to stay but alas I know it must leave us :( After our walk we went to Timmy's (of course) and had a coffee, I am on a real winning spree right now with those role up the rim things, last year I didn't win a bloody thing and considering I consume at least one beverage from there a day, that's pretty pathetic!

Then we came home and my friend cooked me a nice healthy meal, she's on the Bernstein's plan right now, so we had tilapea and roasted veggies it was lovely. So up to that point in the day food wise was super clean, but then we went to the bar and were misled by nachos (they were bloody good!) and then we went to one of friends home to watch "Star trek" the movie, I haven't seen it yet and was blown away by how much it resembled the old TV show which I absolutely loved, in fact I swore as a six year old that I was going to marry Captain James T Kirk! And she had a lot of munchie candy stuff there that somehow found its way into my mouth!

So, today I was back on plan 100%, although I am allowing myself the odd treat, it's just that yesterday it would have been better if I had the nachos or the candie snacky stuff not both! But I'm not beating myself up over it, that's old diet ways of thinking and I refuse to do that to myself anymore.

Down the hatch:-

Breakfast: 3/4 cup wholegrain cereal, 1/4 cup raspberries, 1 tbs flax seed, 1 tbs bee-pollen, water & cup coffee.

Lunch: wholegrain wrap with tofu strips, fresh spinach and tzatziki spread, water.

Snack: Clean protein bar, water & cup tea.

Dinner: Grilled lean chicken, cabbage, veggies, water.

Activity: 1 hour kick-boxing class.

Were all of you as shocked as me to find the white stuff falling from the sky today and having to scramble to find your scrapper? But, I guess it's not hanging around for long thank goodness, we've just been too spoilt lately I guess. Have a good one tomorrow.

Ten years younger!!!

Well, I must say I had the best compliment today, someone I know mistook me for ten years younger than I am! I know I've felt fantastic since I've been on this plan and I have noticed my skin just glows now (not one of my former good features) and what few wrinkles I did have seemed to have just poofed out! It's always nice when a handsome young man thinks you are the same age as himself! I guess you're only as young as who you feel, Oh I mean how you feel, yeah that's it, how you feel ;)

So as I skipped merrily along with my food shopping and other mundane chores with an extra spring in my step. I went to my favourite kick boxing class this morning, I love that class. If you're looking for something that's cardio and conditioning and not boring I would give this kind of class a go as you burn a bazillion calories and have a blast at the same time. I met up for coffee with my sponsor today, she's such a fun gal, we had a good old catch up session, because we've both been doing our own thing lately and haven't crossed paths much, so it was so nice to finally catch up and have a good old chin wag.

Oh also I completely forgot to weight myself yesterday, which totally blows my mind! Before in my old diet thinking mode I would count the days down till weigh in, or bloody dread it! So, for me not to remember to weigh myself is an incredible break through, it shows I'm not thinking about this as a diet or just a quick fix, there's positive signs that this is it for life. So, I weighed myself today and I have stayed the same, which is fine considering Aunt Flo was visiting this week and she usually brings a couple of extra pounds with her as means of a gift!

Down the hatch:-

Breakfast: Low fat Organic oatmeal muffin, water.

Lunch: Wholegrain pita with egg salad, water & coffee.

Snack: Clean protein bar, water.

Dinner: Vegetarian curry, water & cup tea.

Activity: 1 hour kick boxing class.

So I wish you all younger, healthier years to come, bye for now.

Sunshiney days :)

I just cant believe how glorious the weather has been lately! We are so lucky to have this unseasonably warm weather in our usually sunny but cold Calgary, taking full advantage of this today a good friend and I went for a lovely walk in Lake Bonavista (yay I finally know someone that can get me into that great gated lake legally!) It was so enjoyable we had a good ole girlie chat and a enjoyed the scenery and said hi to all the passerby's. Then we sat and on a bench surrounded by trees and contemplated life as we looked over the frozen lake yet warmed by the sun.

Then we went to Starbucks for a refuel and my friend needed to look for a book at Chapters, so we continued our fun girlie day indoors. Then she had to go back to her hubby and child and I went to the gym, since Aunt Flo finally left today. It has only been two days since I went to the gym, but gees why does your body have muscle amnesia when you don't workout for a couple of days, what's up with that?

Down the hatch:-

Breakfast: 3/4 cup wholegrain cereal, 1/4 cup blueberries, 1tbs flax seed, 1tbs flax seed, skim milk, water and cup coffee.

Lunch: 2 lentil cakes with chutney, water.

Snack: Clean protein bar, water & coffee.

Dinner: Lean Turkey with fresh salad, water & cup tea.

Snack: Fresh strawberries & hand full of unsalted nuts, water.

Activity: 30 mins weights circuit training & 40 mins Elliptical.

I switched the cardio till after my weight workout because my brother (fitness dude) told me that you have more energy to perform your weight training segment and I must say that I did find my strength not faltering towards the end so I think I'll stick to this system.

So, I wish you many, many more sunny days!

Bring on the sunshine :)

I am noticing the longer I continue with this plan the more second nature it feels to me, I would say it's becoming easier, but I like to think of this new plan of eating as a way of eating for the rest of my life and hopefully it will become as natural as brushing my teeth, showering, all that good stuff and I do feel as if I am headed that direction. I love the way I feel eating this way and I notice if I do have the odd treat my body reacts in a completely different way than before. But, I really must say that going for longer amounts of time without sugar and white flour does lessen the physical cravings I used to experience and they are the hardest to say no to.

What a glorious day we had weather wise today I wanted to be out in it as much as possible and just bask in the warmth and glow of the sun, it was a great day today, but when the sun goes down it gets bloody cold! I did force myself inside today to finish my log books for my taxes, I just have one more thing to get ready for my accountant and that will be it for another year. I'm sure you're all going through the same lovely stuff right now!

Down the hatch:-

Breakfast: 1/2 cup oatmeal, 1/2 cup strawberries, 1/2 cup skim milk, 1 tbs bee-pollen, water & cup coffee.

Lunch: Grilled chicken wrap, water.

Snack: Clean protein bar, water & cup tea.

Dinner: Lean ground turkey, chopped garlic, mushrooms, green onion, snap peas, all cooked together and mixed in with organic tomato sauce (very yummy!) extra fresh spinach on side, water.

Snack: 1 apple & handful of unsalted nuts, water.

Activity: none, Aunt Flo's still visiting.

So, I hope you're all in a happy peaceful place with your lives and your taxes!

Write on!

I took a good friend of mine to my writer's group in High River, I've been a member there for about a year and I just love it. One of the reasons I joined is to get back to fictional writing and get over my fear of public speaking, and I must say since joining the group I have achieved both! The programme is run by an incredible lady Carol, she is so passionate about writing and really gives you whatever tools you could possibly use to master your skills. We had some homework (yes, they give you homework!) from last month and I brought along my offerings, it really ended up being a children's story and I enjoyed getting into the different head space you need to write a children's story and everyone seemed to have positive thoughts on it, which was great. So, I think I might pursue this genre a little more. My friend really enjoyed the group too and she has been away from writing for a really long time and this seemed to have inspired her to pick up the pen again, which is great!

I didn't go to gym today as Aunt Flo is still hanging around and because I get it so bad I have to be on two different kinds of painkillers from the doctor, I'm not that thrilled as I'm not a pill popper, but if I want to be able to function in any kind of way I have to take them. So I kinda took it easy and just went to my writers group later on in the evening. Which always leaves me in such a positive enlightened mood, I just adore that group, they're a really great bunch of talented folk.

Down the hatch:-

Breakfast: Blueberry & bran muffin, water & cup of coffee.

Lunch: Grilled chicken salad, water.

Snack: Clean protein bar, water & cup coffee.

Dinner: Vegetarian curry, water & cup tea.

Activity: none today.

Oh yesterday I forgot to add to my plan a lunch time drink, which was a half pint of shandy, unless your English you probably don't know what that is, but its a dark bitter mixed with sprite, it's a total girlie drink and I haven't had one of those in eons. So I did partake of that and forgot to jot it down, you guys and girls get to know everything that goes in my mouth, so now your updated, if you want to try this drink on a treat day it's not too bad if you have light Sprite and dark bitter in a half pint, there's a lot more fattening things that you could chuck down your throat!

I hate Aunt Flo, I really really hate Aunt Flo!!!!!

Don't worry folks she not an actual person, but she is despised by women and men all over the world. If you're not quite sure what I'm talking about, I shall recap from last month. Aunt Flo is an evil aunt, she doesn't care who she hurts and her power is mighty and very far spread. She visits the female of your household once a month and brings nothing but misery and pain with her. And she doesn't just affect the female of your family, anyone who comes within a ten mile radius of her feels her wrath, are we catching on, yes I think you catch my drift, enough said!

But, I have some fun news I am having some pictures taking, I was discussing it with the photographer today and I am totally stoked I have wanted some new pictures for such a long, long time, the bikini picture you see of me is from when I first lost the weight about seven years ago, but I maintained that for most of those seven years, the only real gain was towards the end of last year when I went through an incredibly stressful time and lost focus of myself. So you will be the first to see my awesome new pic's, I'm just guessing their gonna be awesome, I'll see what you guys think!

Down the hatch:-

Breakfast: 1/2 cup granola, 1/2 cup strawberries, 1/2 cup non fat natural yogurt, 1 tbs bee-pollen, 1 tbs flax seed, water & cup coffee.

Lunch: Wholegrain wrap with low fat cheese, fresh spinach, sliced cucumber & tzatziki, water.

Snack: Clean protein bar, water & cup tea.

Dinner: Minestrone soup, wholewheat roll, water.

Snack: 1 apple & hand full of unsalted nuts, water & cup coffee.

Activity: 1 hour weights circuit training class.

I wasn't feeling that great this evening, but I still went to my Overeaters Anonymous group and I'm really glad I did, it's so important for me to keep all aspects of my recovery in check, which is mental, physical and spiritual. If all these things are in balance in my life than my life is balance and it's just wonderful to connect with people who really understand you. I have made some wonderful, long lasting friends in the fellowship. I hope you're all happy and doing well.

The flame shall burn on

It was right back on track today with my eating clean plan and activity. After all the extra calories consumed yesterday my head and body are in a cloudy food fog! If you haven't experienced that before, it's kinda like a hangover, not real nice. So it felt really good to get back on the eating plan today, I'm feeling chirpier as the hours go by.

So the Olympics are over and the flame has been extinguished for another four years as we all return back to our normal lives, but I'm pretty sure the warm glow for Canada shall last in our hearts for a very, very long time.

Down the hatch:-

Breakfast: 3/4 cup wholegrain cereal, 1/4 cup blueberries, skim milk, 1tbs bee-pollen, 1 tbs flax seed, water and cup of coffee.

Lunch: wholegrain wrap, with low fat cheese, fresh spinach, sliced cucumber, water.

Snack: Clean protein bar, water.

Dinner: Mackerel, salad, asparagus, chopped walnuts, water, cup tea.

Activity: 1 hour kick-boxing class.

I hope you're all recovered from yesterdays celebration, it's time to get back on track y'all!

Wooooohooooo Canada rocks :)

I'm sure many,many Canadians were glued to their t.v's this afternoon to watch the Canada vs Us Hockey game, now I must confess I'm not a real big sports fan, but I really enjoyed watching the game and was absolutely ecstatic when Canada won. I was around my friends house watching the game and we all jumped up and down with glee (scared the bloody hell out of the little pooch sitting on the couch with us!) and then we all had a little tipple to celebrate! I was so happy that Canada won, it's great to see how well they did in the Olympics, you go Canada!

So, food wise I just kinda went with the flow today and ate what was on offer, but not consistently as I would have normally, there were pretty long intermissions between mouth falls! And alcohol wise I'm not a big drinker, so that wasn't really an issue I had a celebratory drink when Canada scored that last wonderful goal and a little try of something my friend mixed up, but that was about it. So, definitely not an eating clean day today, but tomorrow is back on track and today was just a laid back fun day with friends and a few old food buddies.

Go Canada Go!

Every time I walked past a television set or listened to the radio the Canucks were winning medals all over the place, you go Canada. I'm really looking forward to tomorrow my Greyhound buddy is having a closing ceremony celebration round his pad, it's going to be a lot of fun, and I also get to catch up with my old busing buddies. Oh yes and eat a bunch of stuff that I'm pretty sure isn't any where near my eating plan! But its okay I have a plan, I'm going to eat just a plate full of what ever is there and not keep going back for me, that's one of my weaknesses, hopefully everyone else will gobble up all the naughty stuff.

Today pretty much was errand day I had a few girlie appointments I had to attend to, always fun and keeps me looking in tip top shape, I didn't sleep that well last night so I kinda dragged my ass to kickboxing, but about halfway through I got a second wind and kicked some serious butt.

I'll keep it short I'm kinda pooped so I'm off to make dinner and cuddle up on the couch.

Down the hatch:-

Breakfast: low fat oatmeal muffin, water, & cup coffee.

Lunch: wholegrain wrap with salad, low fat cheese, sliced cucumber & tzatziki spread, water.

Snack: Clean protein bar, water & coffee.

Dinner: Salmon fillet, asparagus & salad, water & cup tea.

Snack: apple and sml piece organic dark chocolate.

Activity: 1 hour kick-boxing class.

I wish Canadian athletes all the best tomorrow, win more gold it looks good on you!

Woo hoooo 2 more lbs down :)

As I stood on the scale first thing this morning I was absolutely elated when I saw the numbers drop by another 2lbs, woooohooo this new eating plan kicks butt, literally! Shortly afterward I went to my hot yoga class and the teacher was commenting on my slimmer appearance, wow I guess other people are starting to notice, sweet! If you are just joining my blog I embarked on a eating clean lifestyle about 6 weeks ago, I have lost a total of 11 lbs and 8 inches. What this plan entails is just eating a whole lot healthier, switching out all the white crap, bread, white flour, sugar and most importantly all the cancer causing additives and preservatives in today's food. If you're not sure what to do first, just follow me day to day, I list everything I eat and my activities, but if you want further help buy the book "The eat-clean diet" by Tosca Reno, its an incredible book and its totally changed the way I treat what goes into my body.

This really is a lifestyle change, so you have to be able to eat like this realistically for the rest of your life, so the odd treat is okay I have had a few ups and downs since I started, splitting up with my boyfriend of four years, being diagnosed with a lump (non cancerous thank goodness, but still needs surgery) taking a course to better my chances at getting work. So I have indulged in the odd commiserative drink or a girlie's night in of munchies, but I have really minimized the treat days or nights to a bare minimum. In the book Tosca discusses treat days and its totally up to you, what you think will work best for you, she chooses very few treats, usually just a few a year, so she is very strict.

The best way to explain the plan is to eat every two to three hours, a portion of protein is the size of your palm, a portion of veggies two cupped hand fulls, complex carbohydrates is one cupped handful. So per day you have six portions of complex carbs from fruit and veggies. 2-4 portions of complex carbs from whole grains and starchy carbohydrates. 5-6 portions of lean proteins. 2-3 litres of water, clear herbal tea (unsweetened) , black coffee (in moderation). If you are going to embark on this eating plan I would purchase the book as it explains everything in detail and I found it a fascinating read and of course before embarking on any new regimen consult your doctor first.

Down the hatch:-

Breakfast: 3/4 cup wholegrain cereal, 1/4 cup blueberries, skim milk, 1tbs bee-pollen, 1tbs flax seed, water & cup of coffee.

Snack: Banana & handful of unsalted nuts, water.

Lunch: wholegrain wrap with sliced boiled egg, spinach, watercress, cucumber, tzaziki, water and skinny latte.

Snack: Clean protein bar, water.

Dinner: Lean grilled chicken breast, potato salad, grilled zucchini, water and cup of tea.

Activity: 1 hour hot yoga.

I am so thrilled with the results, do you know this is the first time I have really given a 100% effort into preparing and cooking the food myself, I always followed some kind of frozen diet prepared type of meal plan. I guess I thought it was too difficult to do it on my own and you know what ITS NOT so if you're in the same kind of funk give this plan of eating a try once you've grasped the concept, its totally doable. Believe me I thought I was hopeless in the kitchen, but now I think I'm pretty damn good! I wish you all the best with your weight loss efforts, bye for now.

I love L.A Ink :)

I'm so glad that "L.A Ink" is back, I love that show, I do miss "Inked" and "Miami ink" too but I have Kat to watch every week so I guess I'll survive! I must say I still felt kinda tender after all the prodding in my neck yesterday, it was really swollen and bruised today, but it got better as the day progressed. And the weather did help lighten my spirits today, plus seven in February, bloody brilliant and Oh yes all the gold medals the Canadians got, you are a patriotic bunch, I live here in the beautiful country of Canada and love to cheer for my fellow Canadians. Go you crazy Canucks!

So I wasn't feeling too bad after my ordeal yesterday, so I did venture back to the gym, I had a good intense workout, the only thing that hurt was when I tried to lift my head to do sit ups, so I stopped that straight away! The gym was totally packed again, I had to elbow a few people out of the way to claim one of the cardio machines, I guess it still is New Years Resolution Season! I'm sure you're all noticing the influx of people at your gym too, I wish it wasn't like that. I wish that people would make a lifetime resolution to change their life and their health for good and not make it such a glib thing. I didn't have long term success with my weight loss until I realized this and changed my habits for good.

And when I did gain some of the weight back (which is very close to being gone!) it was when I had lost focus of myself again and I let things get out of control, when things are out of control my eating is out of control. There was a lot of stuff going on in my life and it was very stressful and I wasn't aware of my old addiction (Food, the other F word!) creeping its insidious way back into my life. Once you make the decision to change the way you live and change the way you eat stay focused on your new journey and don't let anything lead you astray, just remember you're worth it.

Down the hatch:-

Breakfast: 1/2 cup granola, 1/2 cup strawberries, 1/2 cup no fat natural yogurt, 1 tbs flax seed, 1 tbs bee-pollen, water & cup coffee.

Lunch: Boiled egg sliced over a bed of lettuce, spinach, artichokes, cucumber, crumbled walnuts, tiny amount of olive oil, (Spruce up your salads with what ever comes to mind, add nuts, dried fruit, craisins are lovely, but if chocolate covered M&M's come to mind maybe skip that as a topping!) water.

Snack: Clean protein bar & handful of dried fruit, water.

Dinner: Mackerel fillet, snap peas, potato salad (made from baby potato's, herbs & Tzaziki, a great low fat option to mayo) water & cup tea.

Activity: 40 mins elliptical, 30 mins circuit training with weights.

So, I hope wherever you are in your weight loss journey that you're excited and hopeful about your new life and if you're struggling, don't give up, keep going consistency is the key and just remember you're worth it, keep up the good work :)

What a pain in the neck!

Okay, I am warning you if you're squeamish I would skip this first paragraph, you have been warned! About Six years ago my doctor found a couple of growths on my thyroid gland, so I got it all checked out and it was all good. But, since that discovery I have to go every two years for an ultrasound and a biopsy, now the ultrasound isn't that bad, they squirt you with cooling gel and press a hand held thingy against your neck, it's not bad at all and quite relaxing. Now comes the non fun part, they tell you to relax as the big bloody needle looms over head, "oh yeah sure I'm relaxed as a day at the beach, I don't bloody think so". Instead I nod politely and as I cringe further into the rustling paper beneath me a tear wells up in both eyes. Now, that the anesthetic is done they can begin with the actual procedure of sticking THREE more needle's into my neck! Not a fun thing, not at all.

Okay, I'm done with my whining and complaining I do realize this is a necessary procedure and it could one day save my life, so its all good. I didn't realize when I was booking my appointments a couple of weeks back that my laser hair removal treatment fell right on to today's agenda, Oh lucky me! It was actually a gift certificate from my ex boyfriend given to me at Christmas, I know what you're thinking, what a jackass "Happy Christmas my furry little one" not quite. I actually asked him for this, as laser treatments can be quite expensive and being half Greek I need all the help I can get in the hair removal department!

I went to the Radience Spa that is in Canyon Meadows, a nice European lady greeted me and told me to whip of my clothes and relax "Oh no not that again!" Now, I actually haven't had laser treatments for many, many years and when I had it back then, it bloody hurt! And the part of my body that I was having lasered is rather delicate (I shall leave that to your imagination) but it went very well and it was quite bearable and only pinched in a few sensitive areas. If you're thinking of getting this done I would definitely recommend this place, they were great, put you at ease and their prices are actually way cheaper than anywhere else.

So, because of my pockey, prodey, icky day I didn't work out, I was actually saving today as one of my rest days as I knew what was in store for me. But back to the gym tomorrow folks.

Down the hatch:-

Breakfast: low fat organic oatmeal muffin, water & cup coffee.

snack: handful of dried fruit and unsalted nuts.

Lunch: tuna and veggie wholegrain pitta, diet coke.

snack: Clean protein bar, water & skinny latte.

Dinner: grilled chicken, veggies, water & cup tea.

Activity: none, no way no how!

So, tonight I have my painkillers and some bad t.v to watch to help wash away the days stresses! I wish you all a great day tomorrow, adios for now.

Sunshine and Timmy's

Oh I was dragging my feet today, I had very low energy, I still went and worked out and it was one of those days where it was going to kill me or cure me! Luckily it did the latter and I got a second wind, instead of going home to nap on the couch! It was such a lovely day today I just adore these mild sunny days, I wish it was here to stay, alas I know it isnt so make the most of it while it's here.

I went to my Overeaters Anonymous meeting tonight and I chose to lead the meeting, I always have a fear of doing that so I force myself out of my comfort zone and took the lead. I dont know why I always worry about leading the group because everytime I do, I end up really enjoying it. It was a small meeting tonight, just lately there have been many newcomers, which is always comforting as people are getting the help and support they need. A couple of us go to coffee afterward and that is always such an enjoyable part of the evening, I really feel that I have made lifelong friends in the programe. So all in all a nice day, nothing too crazy, just an enjoyable day of sunshine and coffee with good friends.

Down the hatch: -

Breakfast: 3/4 cup wholegrain cereal, 1/4 cup blueberries, skim milk, 1tbs bee-pollen, 1 tbs flax seed, water & cup coffee.

Lunch: wholegrain wrap with boiled egg, fresh spinach, afalpha sprouts, tziki, water.

Snack: 2 brown rice cakes, 2 tbs humus, 1 apple, water & cup of coffee.

Dinner: Chicken & vegetable chilli (chicken or turkey are great lowfat high protein substitutes for this traditional dish) water.

Activity: 1 hour circuit training with weights class.

So, I off to meditate, get out and enjoy the warm weather if you can tomorrow and have a great day.

Kicking butt and cleaning fridges

I must say I have found the least favourite thing to do, clean the fridge! I used to be a nurse, so Ive seen some nasty stuff but cleaning the fridge totally grossed me out and it wasn't even that bad! I guess I'm just not a domestic diva, even though I keep my house pretty clean and tidy, my mum's a hoarder, so I'm pretty diligent about keeping things in order, although I'm not obsessed about it. Have you seen that show on A&E "Hoarders"? I tell you, I have learnt so much about my mum and how serious a sickness hoarding can be and how it affected us as children growing up in that chaos. We have really tried as a family to get my mum to see that she needs help, but she refuses and the problem cannot be fixed until she herself has asked for help. It's a real tough situation between my mum and the rest of us, it's quite disheartening and upsets us because we feel so helpless. We all hope and pray for the day that she realizes she has a problem and when she does we will all be ready to step in and help her, hopefully one day soon.

I went to my kickboxing class that has been canceled the last couple of times and I didn't realize how much I missed it. I put 100% effort into that class, I can barely walk out of the club afterward, stumble to my car and putting the keys in the ignition is a labour intensive chore! I think it's the perfect class for overall fitness, you get cardio(a lot of cardio!) toning, from all the punching and kicking and it's so much fun, well I think so anyway!

Down the hatch:-

Breakfast: organic low fat oatmeal muffin, water & cup of coffee.

Snack: handful of unsalted nuts and 1 orange, water.

Lunch: 1 slice ezekiel toast, poached egg, grilled tomato's, water & cup of coffee.

Snack: Clean protein bar (if your looking for a clean bar, just look for one that has no preservatives, additives and if it has sugar that its from a natural source) I like the "Luna bars" for women, they're tasty and fit into the clean eating plan, also I found some at "Popeye's store" their bars are called "Elevate me" they also fit into the plan. If you're not sure just ask and they should be able to help you, the best places are health food stores, vitamin stores and some supermarkets.

Dinner: mishmash of leftovers! Lentil & veggie stew, 1/2 a baked squash, spinach, feta & potato cake, water and cup tea.

Activity: 1 hour kickboxing class.

I'm so happy my scary fridge is clean and some real good happy hormones from my intense workout earlier are kicking in. So, its off to meditate and pretty soon after, off to la la land. Bye for now.

Surrender

What to you think of when you hear the word surrender, does it conjure up images of giving up, weakness, failure? It really isn't any of those things, what got me thinking about this simple yet, misunderstood word was our yoga teacher, she asked us to truly surrender at the end of our practice and its a lot easier said than done. We hold onto so much negative shit and stuff from our past that weighs us down and infects our new relationships. I have really been trying to surrender and let be, what will be, but the ego always wants to get in the way and run the show.

Being in a twelve step programme I have learnt a lot about surrendering, you cannot truly be free of your addiction until you surrender to a power greater than yourself and a lot of people struggle with this step. Instead of looking at surrendering as weakness I think its shows incredible courage, strength and a willingness to believe in something other than yourself. So surrendering isn't weakness or throwing in the towel, it is being truly powerful and putting your faith in something that you cant see and that is bigger than you, not always an easy thing!

So, if you are hanging onto something from your past that's been weighing you down, really put all your effort into releasing it to the universe and surrendering fully and completely and see how it feels. I find that when I do this an incredible lightness takes over my whole body and my mind is clear and free of worry. Sometimes you have to try this a couple of times as those old thoughts and behaviours really like to hang around and linger.

Down the hatch:-

Breakfast: 3/4 cup wholegrain cereal, 1/4 cup blueberries, skim milk, 1tbs bee-pollen, 1 tbs flax seed, water and cup of coffee.

Lunch: brown rice crackers, nut butter, half a banana, water.

Snack: Clean protein bar, water.

Dinner: Lean ground burger Pattie, wholegrain roll, lettuce, tomato, sliced onion, pickle, mustard, water and cup tea.

Activity: 90 mins Hot Yoga.

So, I wish you luck with the surrendering stuff, and remember if you don't succeed at first, keep trying, you're worth it. Take care

Spookey Shutter Island

Today was a pretty laid back I didn't workout I was feeling pretty lackadisial, so I did a few errands and then searched for a new book, I have finally wadded my way through the last book of the Twilight series, I found it started really great, kinda slipped off in the middle and ended on a pretty awesome note. So, I needed new material to read so I went to Chapters on Macleod, that's my favourite book store and coffee shop, my two loves rolled into one! I came upon a new series of books on werewolves called "Bitten" I got through a good chunk of that book and I think I have found a keeper, the author is Canadian, so that's cool I like to support as many Canadian authors as I can, I cant remember her name though, the books in the car and it too freaking cold to go out & get it.

Tonight I went to see Shutter Island, it was really good, super creepy and kept you on your toes, a really excellent film, I would give it two thumbs way up, I forgot how good an actor Leonardo is, he was perfect for this role. And of course my favourite Ben Kingsley, always gives an incredible performance. It was really different not what I was expecting, I don't want to give anything away, but it's a doosey, go see it!

Down the hatch:-

Breakfast: Oatmeal muffin, water, coffee.

Lunch: 1/2 baked potato, feta cheese, chopped veggies, water.

Snack: Clean protein bar, water and skinny latte.

Dinner: Lentil & veggie stew, water.

Snack: at cinema popcorn but no butter, small bag of smarties, diet coke (couldn't resist the munchies stuff, its so hard once the smell hits you)

Activity: none, rest day.

So, I hope you all have a great rest of the weekend, bye for now.

2 more lbs down!!!

Well, it's coming off and I must say I am noticing it, although I am working my butt off, literally! I was ecstatic as I stood on the scale this morning with just my birthday suit and a smile! When I see the numbers going down, it lifts my mood and tells me that I'm doing everything right, because when your trying something new you don't know if you're doing right, although I must say this is one of the more simpler plans that I've been on. I did tweak a few things the last couple of weeks, I did make my portions smaller, I think they were a little on the large side and I have been really consistent with my working out, especially the cardio fat burning part. I still lift weights but I have lenghthened my cardio segments. Also, I've selected a more lower calorie, lower fat options when it came to a lot of the food choices, e.g wraps they can be anything from 100 calories and some as high as 300 calories, so be very careful, just because it says wholegrain doesn't mean its low fat or low calorie. Also the cereals too, I switched out some better options there too.

Today, I fancied a burger, but don't worry I didn't drive the nearest fast food joint, I bought some super lean ground burger patties at the supermarket, they even had the health check on them, also a wholegrain roll, sliced tomato's, pickle and mustard, it was a pretty healthy tasty version of a yucky fast food rendition and it totally satisfied my cravings.

Down the hatch:-

Breakfast: 3/4 cup wholegrain cereal, 1/4 cup blueberries, skim milk, 1 tbs bee-pollen, 1 tbs flax seed, water & cup of coffee.

Lunch: wholegrain wrap with tuna, salad and water.

Snack: 2 brown rice cakes and 2 tbs nut butter, water.

Dinner: Yummy healthy version of a fattening classic. Lean ground beefburger Pattie, wholegrain roll, sliced tomato, garlic pickle, lettuce, water and cup tea.

Activity: 40 mins elliptical machine, 30 mins circuit weight training.

I hope you all have a great weekend, talk to you tomorrow.

Stuffed Spud anyone?

Okay, I met up with one of my female bus driver buddies on 17th Ave for a coffee and afterward I decided to do some window shopping and I was hungry and I came upon a stuffed potato shop. Why is that good news? Well, because back home we've got one of these shops almost as much as pubs, and there's a lot of bloody pubs! Its a great,quick cheap, healthy lunch or dinner, they bake the spud, fill it with whatever you want, I chose the Greek filling, because of the low fat feta cheese and tons of veggies, it was a great lunch, but I only ate half of it as a whole spud is too many calories, so I took the rest home for another meal. It's also an Ice Cream shop, so if you can resist the cool treats you can find yourself a healthy, cheap lunch. I think it was called "The Creamery" on 17th Avenue, SW.

Other than that, it was mainly job hunting and kinda taking it easy as today was a rest day from working out. Oh, I did start on my pile of income tax stuff, it was threatening to completely topple over and land in an even bigger mess on the floor, so I did make a start on the mountain and then it's onto my log books, as a diver you keep a log of every trip and if it's an over night trip you can claim for meals. So that will be my next pile to attack, for now I'm happy with the neat orderly piles decorating my living room.

Oh yes, I was super excited tonight as it was the season premier of "L.A Ink", I don't know about you guys but I love that show, not to make you jealous or anything but last year I got a tattoo by one of the artists there, he's name is Nate, and it is totally amazing, I love it. I got a butterfly with the words Love & Peace in a flowing banner on my hip above my bikini line. I tell you, that tattoo makes my other's pale in comparison, he did an incredible job. So, did I see Kat? Well, I saw the back of her as they were in her office filming, so I managed to get a quick sneak peek at her. She is super tall and super skinny and of course super gorgeous!

Down the hatch:-

Breakfast: Oatmeal muffin, water & cup of coffee.

Lunch: 1/2 baked potato, feta cheese and veggies, water.

Snack: Clean protein bar & an orange, water & cup of tea.

Dinner: Sole fillet, squash, broccoli, water.

Activity: none, rest day.

So, I hope you all had a great day today and hope tomorrows even better :)

Hotter the Yoga the better!

I have fallen in love all over again with Hot Yoga, no not a guy, although I think I am ready to move onto another relationship, but I'm just letting go and letting God do the deciding instead of me. Because when I try to take the lead it doesn't work, so when the time is right the universe will say its so, by plonking a dude in my midst and hopefully I'm not too short sighted to see him! Oh yes, I was talking about the hot yoga, I just love it, it's such an incredible workout, it works all your muscles, yet calms your body and mind and just makes you feel bloody brilliant! I go to the Moksha yoga, but there is Bikram too, I prefer Moksha because it's different each time, it depends on the teacher, which is really neat.

I decided to throw in a few Vegetarian days on my new eating plan, just because it's a change and it is good for you, but I shan't be giving up steak ant time soon! I am still feeling pretty good on the plan, I'm getting into a routine that works for me and trying to make it as variety packed as possible, so boredom isn't a factor, yes I have a short attention span if you haven't already figured it out! I think that's why Ive had so many jobs, one day I'll list them all you'll think it's crazy the amount that I have had in my lifetime.

Down the hatch:-

Breakfast: 1/2 cup granola, 1/2 cup natural no fat yogurt, 1/2 cup strawberries, 1 tbs bee-pollen, 1tbs flax seed, water & cup of coffee.

Lunch: low fat cheese & veggie wholegrain wrap, water.

Snack: Clean protein bar, water & cup of coffee.

Dinner: Vegetarian curry, 1 apple, water.

Activity: 75 mins Hot Yoga.

Well, that's about it for today, sounds like the weather is going to improve, which is always a good thing. Have you noticed how peoples moods instantly change when the weather improves, and when it's snowy and cold everybody is miserable. So, there shall be happier folk roaming our streets in the next couple of days, I'm all for that!

My lovely extended family!

Today I went and got my Class 1 license and it feels a little more real now, I can't have the physical license for another couple of weeks, but I have the temporary piece of paper folded up in my purse. I didn't realize that you cant bloody smile for your drivers license picture, so now I look like a bloody convict on my passport and my drivers license! Whats up with that? I know they said that smiling changes your face, but it changes it for the better, I look bloody terrible! But, anyhow, its not the end of the road it's only a mug shot.

I went to my Overeaters Anonymous meeting tonight, I missed last weekend because of all the craziness, it was so nice to go and reconnect with my fellow members. I really notice when I don't go to a meeting regularly, the old habits can easily sneak up on you. But I am diligent about connecting to my higher power everyday and meditating (which I just adore) reading some OA literature and also connecting by phone. I do have a sponsor, but we keep it pretty simple, I just call her when I can and we get together for a coffee once in a while, I think that's what I needed in a sponsor, someone that cares about me, but someone that gives me the space I need. I really adore her as a friend too, she makes me laugh out loud.

Down the hatch:-

Breakfast: Oatmeal muffin (from my own recipe, I added more protein to make it compatible with the plan, it's all organic and made with sprouted organic grain, and it tasted bloody great!) water, cup of coffee.

Lunch: low fat cheese & veggie wholegrain wrap, water.

Snack: Clean protein bar, water & cup of coffee.

Dinner: Lean ground turkey balls, wholegrain pasta & fresh tomato's, water.

Snack: 1 Apple & handful of nuts.

Activity: 1 hour circuit training weight class, 30 mins on elliptical machine.

I hope you all enjoyed the lovely warm weather today, it felt like Spring, all the snow melted in my garden, it made me realize Spring is just around the corner, hopefully :)

Happy Family Day!

If you live in Alberta, Canada, happy Family day to you all, hope you all had a good day with your family or friends. I have no family here, so my I count my good close friends as my extended family, although today I just kinda lay low and took it easy, although I did work out. I was missing having a muffin for breakfast, so I found some organic oatmeal muffin mix and added some protein powder to it to amp up the protein content and I think my little baking experiment fits into the Eating Clean Plan.

Last night my friend and I went to see "The Wolfman" it was really good, very reminiscent of the old classic black and white flick, special effects were great and the acting was excellent and it was filmed all dark and gloomy giving it an air of an old world past. And just for a Valentine's touch it did have a love story to it, tragic of course, because if you fall in love with a werewolf its only going to end in tears.

Down the hatch:-

Breakfast: 3/4 cup Wholegrain cereal, skim milk, 1 tbs bee-pollen, 1tbs flax seed, large glass of water & cup of coffee.

Lunch: grilled chicken & salad, handful of nuts and dried fruit, large glass of water.

Snack: Clean protein bar, large glass of water and cup of coffee.

Dinner: Lean Turkey meatballs and wholegrain pasta, large glass of water.

Activity: 5o mins on Elliptical.

I'm hoping my Trucking buddy gets hold of me soon as I am quite eager to begin working, the funds are pretty much depleted! And I'm also eager to start my new career and see what it's all about and see if I like it, although my friend did warn me that the first year is tough and a lot of newbies leave, but he said if I can get through that first year I will end up loving it and never want to leave. So we'll have to see, my main priority right now is to get some funds rolling back in instead of just rolling out!

Werewolves and Lattes

Oh yeah and it's Valentines Day, happy V day to you all. Today I played molly maid and cleaned my pad then I headed to Starbucks and did some writing. I treated myself to a light mocha, since I'm not consuming any chocolate today I thought a mocha might hit the right spot and make me feel warm and fuzzy! And it did, I just made it a light, so not too naughty a treat. So, my story that I'm working on is a fictional story including werewolves, hence the title of today's blog, also my good friend and I are going to see the "Wolfman" tonight, I cant wait!!! I love horror movies and what I am so excited about, is that this movie is like the original black and white flick from waaay back, love it, love it, love it! Oh yes and it had Benecio Deltoro, hello super yummy and fabulous actor!

Down the hatch:-

Breakfast: Egg white omelet, grilled tomato, 2 slices of Ezekiel toast, large glass of water and cup coffee.

Lunch: 1/2 slice wholegrain organic pizza (totally okay on this plan), large glass of water.

snack: Dried fruit & nuts and Light Mocha.

Dinner: Fish Tacos and small side salad, large glass of water.

Activity: House cleaning, hey it counts, it feels like a workout!

So, I hope you all had a god day today and I'll let you know how the movie goes, bye for now.

It's treat day :)

I decided since I did so well at my trucking course and passing the road test first time around that I would have a munchie treat this weekend, as it happened one of my good Greyhound buddies decided to treat me to a celebratory lunch on getting my Class 1. So, I thought perfect, we went to The Cheesecake Cafe, although I stayed away from the cheesecake as that is one of my addictive trigger foods and we had a very enjoyable lunch, I felt pretty good in my decision, not because it was good for me, but because I knew it wouldn't trigger a binge.

Now, if you have read Tosca Reno's "Eating Clean Diet" she does say that its okay to have a treat day, but really limit it to a small percentage of your new eating plan. She herself eats clean a major part of the year and only has a very few times a year when she indulges, usually at Birthday parties and special occasions and even then it's very minimal, she chooses a small slice of cake without icing, that kind of thing. What you have to find is a plan of eating that works well for you, if you feel you need a treat once a week, twice a month or just a couple of times a year, choose what works for you. This is a lifetime plan of eating, so you have to ask yourself can I eat like this realistically for the rest of my life?

You also have to recognise what are your trigger foods and can you handle just one of them? If not it's best to just cut them out of your life, I know mine is sugar, so I handle this kind of food with kid gloves and try to avoid it as it usually lead to a binge, if not immediately usually very soon after consuming it. So, I enjoyed my treat today and I got right back on the healthy eating plan for the rest of my meals today.

Down the hatch:-

Breakfast: 3/4 cup wholegrain cereal, 1/2 banana, skim milk, 1 tbs bee-pollen, 1 tbs flax seed, large glass of water & cup of coffee.

Lunch: Garlic cheese bread, vegetable quiche & fruit cup & diet Pepsi.

Snack: Clean protein bar, large glass of water.

Dinner: Tomato soup & organic crackers, large glass of water & cup of tea.

Activity: 50min run on treadmill, 100 walking lunges, sit ups.

Do you know after I had my intake of major white carb overload I really felt it in my body, I felt tired and bloated and lethargic, its weird once you stop eating stuff like that, how your body reacts, if it could talk I think it would go something like "why did you just do that to me?" .
So I wish you all a Happy Valentines Day for tomorrow, take care.

The results are in!!!

Well, today was weighing and measuring day. I have lost 7lbs and 8 inches in a month on the Eating Clean plan, can you believe that 8 freaking inches! And three of those where from my butt! I am so happy with the results, it totally amazing that I would lose more inches than weight, that's why it's really important to not just weigh yourself but measure too. I am really noticing the definition coming back in my arms and shoulders and a little in my thighs, a lot in my butt, I do still have some junk back there, but that's okay, the guys seem to like that!

The really big difference has been in my skin and my hair, they are both in the best condition I have ever seen and I suffered from terrible acne as a child so my skin has never been a favourable part of me, the few lines I had seem to have puffed out and my skin just glows. I must say I noticed a big difference in my mood too, 90 % of the time I am happy, but I do tend to suffer from the occasional low, especially around a certain time of the month, but even that was very minimal, it's wonderful.

So, onto the second month, I don't know when I will start working, but until then I shall follow what I've been doing and when I do work I shall just have to prepare and take as much stuff as I can on the road with me, which is possible as my trucking friend does that too and he is the slim est, healthiest trucker I've ever seen! Do you know I thought it was going to be hell giving up white flour and sugar and I was terrified to do it, but it's not that bad. Once you get over the
initial withdrawal and start to feel human again and all the crap leaves your body and you feel better than you ever had in your entire life.

Down the hatch:-

Breakfast: 3/4 cup wholegrain cereal, 1/2 banana, skim milk, 1tbs bee-pollen, 1tbs flax seed, large glass of water & cup coffee.

Lunch: wholegrain wrap with grilled chicken, fresh spinach and sliced tomato, large glass of water.

Snack: 2 brown rice crackers, 2 tbs humus and 1 tangerine, large glass of water & cup tea.

Dinner: Salmon fillet, fresh green salad with chopped raw veggies, sprinkle of walnuts and cider vinegar, large glass of water.

Activity: 75 mins Hot Yoga.

So I am totally happy with the results of all my hard work, on my health, body and my new career. I only have about 8-10 pounds to go and I know that the next pounds maybe more stubborn to come off but this isn't a race, it's a plan of eating for the rest of my life, so however long it takes isn't a big deal. I hope that some of you out there that maybe thinking about changing the way you eat, hopefully you find something that inspires you through my journey and you might want to give it a try too.
Take care all and have a great Saturday.

WoooooHooooo I passed!!!

Yes, I did it I passed my Class 1 road test and I am so happy. Last night when I was meditating I visualised everything from the beginning of the test until the end and the examiner handing me the pass slip and what do you know today was a pretty close replica of my visualization. I tell you that stuff really works, call it the secret or Dr Wayne Dyer (personally, my favourite) author of "the power of intention" manifesting what you want to bring into your life. I recommend giving it a try for what you want to bring into your life, you have to really feel it and really want it, but also take the steps to make your dream a possibility.

It is weigh and measure day tomorrow, I was really tempted to have a full fat latte with tons of whipped cream to celebrate, but I stuck with my second best treat a skinny Cinnamon Dolche latte, its only 90 calories the possibility of it going to your thighs is not such a big threat. So I'm really curious to see what the results are with a month of eating clean, with just a few tiny indiscretions thrown in, considering a major break up and taking an entire course and passing it first go, I did pretty good under the circumstances!

I had so much pent up energy after passing the exam that I went to the gym and was bouncing away on the elliptical machine like some crazed energizer bunny and then I did a full circuit of weight training three times around and finished it off with a nice pummel on the massage chairs. Then a nice calm zen came over me and I'm just about ready to crash, I can only handle so much excitement. I found a great Pizza that I can eat on this plan (I know Pizza, right!) I bought it at the health food store, it's made with a very thin organic sprouted grain base, cheese, garlic and tomato's it was super yummy and it was only 170 calories for 1/2 a Pizza (HALF!), 8 grams of fat 0 sugar and full of only good stuff. Yay, I can still have Pizza on this plan, my next mission will be to find a donut that fits in the same category!

Down the hatch:

Breakfast: 1/2 cup Ezekiel cereal, 1/2 cup strawberries, skim milk, 1tbs bee-pollen, 1 tbs flax seed, large glass of water & cup of coffee.

Lunch: Assorted sushi & a tangerine, large glass of water.

Snack: Clean protein bar, large glass of water and cup coffee.

Dinner: 1/2 pizza (not delivery, or Digorno!) fresh salad, large glass of water.

Activity: 40 mins on elliptical, 30 mins circuit weight training.

Well I'm off to meditate, gratitude will be high on my list and passing out will be second. Take care all until tomorrow.